I think I'm lost, though maybe I am just blind

I feel like a Christian with pagan scars.
I feel like a pagan who can't be, and doesn't want to be, a pagan.
I feel like a Catholic with the host in my mouth and faery fire in my head.
I feel like a shamaness clutching a cross that sometimes burns.
I feel like I have one God who blinds me.
I feel like the path is under my feet, but I don't know where it leads.
I feel like I can't pray.
I feel like all I do is pray, sometimes.
I feel like my head is full of voices and I don't know who all of them are.
I feel alone.
I feel like I can't tell anyone without them shoving their agenda on me (with exceptions).
I feel like no one really knows where I am walking.
I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
I feel like I only belong with my God but I'm afraid to talk to him.
I feel like I can belong with my fae friends, but I'm not sure who they are yet.
I feel like my life is empty without my God.
I feel like my soul is dark without my God.
I feel like my heart is broken with my God.
I feel like a part of me is crippled if I can't express how He made me.
I feel frightened when I hear the words, "You can't deny it: it's in your blood."
I feel like a Faery Doctor under the mantel of the Blessed Mother.
I feel like I need a sense of wonder to be whole.
I feel like I am lost, but I think I am only blind.
I feel like sin is important to remember, but I can't let the fear of it control me.
I feel like I'd rather go to Church with the people in the Hills, but they don't have the Host.
I feel like a Christian with pagan scars.