A short, but true, story

When I was a very little girl, even before kindergarten, my mother used to leave me with a neighbor. The neighbor was nice enough, and one day she gave me a gift that I absolutely treasured.

It was a magic Faery wand. It was made of clear plastic and was filled with stars and moons and pink glitter that swam around mysteriously. I loved it so much...she told me that I'd need to keep it with me and take care of it, and never leave it outside or the Faeries would take it back. Believing her, I took it home, waving it around all over the place.

My father was, and still can be, a very mean and short-tempered man. He yelled at me for waving the wand around too close to my brothers. One day, after doing so one to many times, he ripped the wand out of my grip and threw it out the door and into the woods. I resolved to go look for it the next day.

Comb the woods and small field nearby,I never found it. I felt terrible- I felt like I had failed to protect this precious gift from the faeries and they had taken it back.

Of course, I know now that it was just a glitter wand, and you can get them for 5-10 bucks online. Still, the experience lived with me for years through my childhood, and I never forgot the feeling.

Foraging, Harvesting and Herbal Work

Needless to say, I am not a witch. I do not want to do witchcrafty things. However, that doesn't mean that I can ignore the superior technique of many herbalists who happen to also be witches, or the fact that much legitimate faery lore has made it's way into modern-day witchcraft.

I got rid of all my herbs and oils when I converted to Christianity...not because the materials themselves were bad, but because I had used them in all manner of magick, and I couldn't remember what was for health reasons and what was for magick reasons...oh man, it was hard to do.

In time, I discovered that the need to work with and even commune with plants still ran well in my blood...I missed them. I missed my poisons and I missed my weeds and I missed my flowers. I missed a lot of that, and in a way, it's come back stronger than ever. It's only...now I have to discover a way to preserve that relationship, to keep to the things that I know to be true, without violating Christian tenets. Which means no magick- which is no big loss. BUT, there are things that I know other Christians will scream bloody murder over, yet seem to appear in our own literature- spirit flight, ecstatic experiences and communion not just with God, but with a variety of saints (or a lot of the dead...just don't go summoning them, okay?), angels, faery and other spirits where applicable. I love the folklore attached to my faith, but you have to be very careful with it. (Working on a post about Eithne and St. Patrick, as well as Cuchulain and St. Patrick...St. Patrick was the shiznit, from what I can tell...)

Bottom line...if God made these plants to have natural properties that assist you with certain things, why is it bad to use them, if they're used rightly and not abused? Are the flying ointments of the witches always bad? Are the use of tinctures as medicines or aids to meditation really suspect? If St. Hildegard of Bingen can promote the use of herbs and stones as spiritual aids, then why can't anyone else?



I've really been enjoying getting my hands back on my herbs and oils, making tinctures and getting ready to do ointments and other herbal mixtures. I love it! However, treading the line between magical and folkloric is difficult. I have to be sure of my reasons for making the tinctures and ointments, and I have to be honest enough to know if I'm treading dangerous ground. I'm not always that honest.

I want to share two tinctures I'm working on right now. The first is more medicinal than anything- an experiment with foraged stuff that I wanted to try. The second has a primary purpose that is folkloric and mystical. As I said, it's a fine line. No poison experiments...for now.





Dandelion Spring

So, first, I had foraged about 2-3 cups worth of fresh, yellow dandelions. These petals can be hard to dry out, and they have a sweet, light taste compared to the bitterness of the leaves and roots. Foraging for them was as challenging as sitting in my front yard. In addition, I added:

About 3 tbsp dried red rose petals

About 3 tbsp dried rose hips

About 2 tbsp wildflower honey, from a local source.

My first tincture...gimme a break! Rather than using vodka or rum, I decided to use Christian Brother's Brandy (or other brandies). The mixture has been sitting about a month and I'll be ready to bottle it soon and see how it turned out.

It's medicinal purposes are immune building and as a digestif. Dandelions are rich in vitamins and chemicals which serve as anti-inflammatory, anti-viral and anti-oxidant triggers. It's good for promoting effective digestion. Rose hips are very rich in vitamin C

It's also a mood lifter! Dandelion has been shown to help improve poor mood, and rose has also been shown to be soothing for bruised or broken hearts.

Basically, what I need right now, following my little brother's untimely death.

I did not tabulate the magickal meanings, because that's not what it's for.

Christian Faery Attunement Tincture

1 whole and fresh 3 leaved white clover

1 tsp sweet myrrh gum resin

1 tsp frankincense resin

4 tbsp mugwort

3 tbsp hawthorn berries

2 tbsp red clover

7 tbsp red rose petals

1/8 cooked/leached and chopped acorn

Apple brandy 1 1/2 cups- Harvest Apple (Virginia made)

Meade 1/2 cup- Sky River Honey Wine

Christian Brothers Brandy - 1 cup

3 tbsp wildflower honey

3 1/4 tsp holy water

1 1/2 tsp Lourdes water

I eyeballed a lot of it, but I stuck to some doses for the sake of symbolism. The three-leaved clover is for the Trinity, of course- I used white clover because it is native. 3 doses of Holy Water in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, the Lourdes water not only for the Blessed Mother, but for the faeries that are said to live there with her. 2 tsps red clover...for the Trinity, and for the Fae that love clover. Which is a bunch. The frankincense and myrrh are for the Lord (I will crush and swirl in some edible gold leaf when I strain it) but the mugwort is for the Faery, same with the acorn...it's so tannic and bitter, I only put a little in after hours of leaching. Red roses are for the Lord, the Blessed Mother and the Fae, and while the Faery connection to Hawthorn is obvious, it was also thought to be the same thorn branches that wove the Crown of Thorns.

For the actual alcohol, I put in meade, apple brandy and Christian Brother's brandy. And wildflower honey. It'll be sitting for a while yet...



For the Seelie Court

However, I am looking to try out a recipe for working with faeries on the lighter end of the spectrum...lighter, not wimpy or even necessarily polite. But here is what I'm working on...

Apple blossom

Elder blossom

Hawthorne blossom

White rose blossoms

Frankincense (small amounts)

Mistletoe (but not too much...I have had tea with very small amounts of this herb in it, but I don't advocate imitating me. It can still kill you.)

White clover flowers

White oak bark powder

Bright yellow/orange marigold

Still experimenting with substitutions and doses...I'll let you know?

How I lost my faith in the Church but remained a Catholic for the Love of God.

Is "Druid Catholic" a thing? No, it's not a thing if I want it to be...so much of neopaganism and occultism is based on that and it's literally not how it works. Despite what these groups may think, you cannot define your Universe and you cannot be your own god- to think so is utter arrogance and foolishness.

Thankfully, God and Creation are so vast and complex, you'll spend forever looking at it and you'll never know even a fraction...God especially. There are no definitions that completely encapsulate the divine.

I do believe the Catholic Church is the best we've got...that's been established.

I also believe that anything good or (once) holy in the hands of powerful and corrupt men will also become powerful and corrupt.

I also don't believe that any human institution will be totally correct 100% of the time, and the Church claims to be a divine one. Their track record is not 100%.

I think the basic message is there. But I think history and experience also shows that there are many ways to live the message, even within orthodoxy...and I think I've left that behind. I still don't know how I feel about that.

I also think that if I ignore or attempt to redefine the more shamanic parts of my mystical self (no, not magickal and never again magickal), I will probably end up crazier than I already am. I'm being ripped apart here, and no priest is well experienced enough to help me.

The "gods" are no gods, even if they think they are. But they loved me, and I loved them. I miss their friendship, if not their service (I DON'T miss their service.) There is only one God, and He is my only God, but I don't think He's going to throw a conniption if I say hello when I see Ganesha or the Morrigan. He's a jealous God, not an abusive one.

I still follow Church teachings, at least most of them. Just not the way most Catholics do.

Anyway, this is all just me thinking aloud. I may not yet take this road. But if I do, it's a finer line I'll tread, cutting the magick and polytheism out of Druidry and using it as a carrier for my Christianity. But, some ancient Druids may have done vice versa, or just as I am. So, I'm in good company.

I know who my Master is. I just have to find the method He wants me to use, and pray I don't get deluded (or further deluded) by my own will.

It's easy to do- I've looked into some of the Catholic offshoots from Rome and they are nothing but heretical...it stopped being about serving Christ and was more about serving themselves a long time ago. (Which is kind of how I see the Church, but anyway...)

There isn't anyone reading this, but I'll post my own thoughts on the catechism and what it says about the Church another time. This is just me. This is just me trying to get my bearings. This is me trying to reason myself around being both Catholic and taking up with Druidry. I'm sure orthodox Catholics would say so. But I think I can find the historical and spiritual precedents for it, if I do it CORRECTLY.



"My Druid is Christ, the Son of God.
Christ the Son of Mary, the great Abbot,
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost;
My Possession is the King of Kings;
My Order is in Kells and Moone.
Alone am I.

(D. Macgregor, Saint Columba, Edinburgh, 1897.)"

Somehow, I think I may already be on this path, and I just haven't fully accepted it yet. Or the Eastern Rite will get me and I won't post here again. Somehow...I am not sure that will happen.

/rant.

EDIT: Reading the Catechism, there isn't a whole lot I want to argue with beyond phrasing...if that was how it worked.

Maybe my faith in the spiritual Church, instituted by Christ and which DOES express itself through the physical Church, is not dead.

My faith in people and the institutional Church is.

My faith in the arrogance of believing any one person or group of people is infallible and always 100% guided by the Holy Spirit is.

I wish the Church was what it says it is. I just cannot believe so blindly, seeing what I see.

I know that Jesus is God because He was good enough to shout through my deafness. I know the sacraments are real by His Grace.

As I said, the Church's (the human component) track record on infallibility is not 100%. Or even 85%. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be a better Christian as a Druid, but I feel like there is a very wide margin for error, even wider than with the Church. Nevertheless...